Violence, Fear, Perception and Agency
Deepali Bhattacharya
In conversation with TD, Clinical Psychologist · An eleven-part reflection, with notes and references
PART V
Fear Is Not the Enemy
“Before we learn how to overcome fear, we must first stop being ashamed of it.”
One of the most reassuring moments in my conversation with TD came when I asked him whether people were overreacting.
His answer surprised me.
“No,” he said.
“Fear is survival equipment.” 11
I have carried that sentence with me ever since.
We often speak about fear as though it were a weakness.
Parents tell children not to be afraid.
Leaders urge people to be fearless.
Films celebrate those who appear untouched by danger.
But psychology tells a different story.
Fear is ancient.
Long before human beings learnt to build cities or write constitutions, fear kept them alive.
It warned them of predators.
It prevented unnecessary risks.
It prepared the body to respond quickly to danger.
Without fear, our species would probably not have survived.
The problem, therefore, is not fear.
The problem is what happens after fear arrives.
Some people deny it.
Some become overwhelmed by it.
Some quietly organise their lives around avoiding it.
TD explained something that I found both comforting and practical.
“The healthiest response,” he said, “is to begin by naming it.”
“I am afraid.”
Not because fear deserves control.
But because unnamed fear often controls us.
Psychologists have long observed that emotions become easier to regulate once they are acknowledged. 12
The simple act of recognising fear reduces some of its power.
Perhaps this explains why conversations matter.
When people speak honestly about fear, they often discover they are not alone.
The commuter who hesitates before boarding a train.
The young woman returning home after work.
The elderly man living by himself.
The parents waiting for their child to come home.
Their fears are different.
Their humanity is the same.
The goal is not to become fearless.
The goal is to prevent fear from becoming the architect of our lives.
Fear should inform our decisions.
It should never imprison them.
A QUESTION THAT STAYED WITH ME…
If fear is natural, why do some people recover from frightening experiences while others remain trapped by them?
Perhaps the answer lies in another psychological truth.
We do not respond only to danger.
We respond to how close that danger feels to us.
Notes:
11. On fear as evolved protection, see Öhman and Mineka (2001) on the brain’s dedicated “fear module,” shaped by evolutionary threats and designed for rapid, automatic response.
12. This is affect labelling: Lieberman et al. (2007) showed that simply putting feelings into words dampens amygdala reactivity — neural evidence that naming an emotion begins to regulate it.
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